


They're All Cats, How Un-fur-tunate

by ironemrys



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Cats, Gen, Headcanon, Random & Short, Short, Short One Shot, They're all cats now, bullet fic, prompts, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29357817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironemrys/pseuds/ironemrys
Summary: prompt: if the brothers are cats + the side charactersprompt by: Small_Cactus
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Luke (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Original Character(s), Luke (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 13
Kudos: 160
Collections: Obey Me! Headcanons and Short Fics





	They're All Cats, How Un-fur-tunate

**Author's Note:**

> I did some research on this ngl haha! I just saw these cat breeds and I'm like... that's them.

Lucifer

  * He resembles a Russian Blue cat breed. Except he’s a black cat with red eyes. 
  * Pretty chill for a cat. 
  * he will strut wherever he pleases because he may be a cat but he's a cat with pride
  * Always makes sure that his claws are sharp
  * will hiss at Mammon for no apparent reason 
  * He's like the typical villain henchman cat. 
  * You can't help yourself so you go to his office and place him on your lap and you call Mammon in
  * _"What do you want, MC?"_
  * cue dramatic turn on the swivel chair while you stroke Cat Lucifer's back
  * _"Welcome, Mammon, we've been expecting you."_
  * _***hiss***_
  * _"You?? Called me here?? For that??"_
  * He's also one of those cats that just… disappears into wherever and shows back up at the end of the day
  * The type of cat that just stays in high places. He likes to be tall. 
  * He loves it when you stroke his fur and scratch his head but **DO NOT TOUCH HIS TAIL**
  * you hit it accidentally and he actively jumps before hissing at you
  * You try the "scare them with a cucumber" trick and it works but at what cost??? 
  * He's now chasing you throughout the dorm while meowing angrily



Mammon

  * A clingy clingy cat.
  * Resembles a Cheetoh.
  * __“Like, the snack?”__
  * _“That’s Cheetos, MC.”_
  * He will hiss at anyone who comes close to you, especially his brothers. 
  * He will hiss and all the hairs on his body will stand on end
  * Likes to be carried by you or to be on your shoulders
  * A hyperactive cat
  * Now that he can get in and out of places without getting noticed he will take advantage of it
  * You always have to watch him because every now and then he will have something that isn't his, hanging off his mouth
  * _"Those are obviously Asmo's jewelry, give it here, you thief."_
  * Use the laser pointer at him and he will follow it to no end. He doesn't care if he falls, he wants the light.
  * Will fall off high places A LOT. 
  * The definition of if it fits, I sits.
  * He's the type of cat that will hold your hand and place them on his head because PET HIM. HE DEMANDS IT. 
  * The type of cat that gets confused™️ by his own reflection.



Leviathan 

  * A shy cat - resembles the Himalayan Cat breed but instead of the dark patches of fur, his are purple.
  * You had to remove him from his room because his cat instinct would make him want to attack Henry 
  * will stick close to you because everything is so big now he doesn't want to be stepped on
  * download an app for cats on your D.D.D. and you'll never hold your phone again
  * The kind of cat that will secretly crave for your affection 
  * You will see him hesitating to come over you but once you gesture to him he will make a mad dash and jump on your lap
  * Will purr a lot
  * Always falls for the laser pointer trick
  * You tried the cucumber prank on him and HE JUMPED SO HIGH HE'S ON THE CEILING 
  * you had to get one of the brothers who can fly to get him down, there are permanent claw marks on the ceiling now
  * You bought a scratching post for him but he'd rather stay in the box it came with



Satan

  * Another chill cat - resembles a Turkish Angora.
  * Right eye is green, the left eye is red.
  * He can now play with his other kittens so he considers this a win
  * The kind of cat that will sit on your shoulders while you read
  * He knows what he needs so when you give him the wrong food he will mewl really loudly
  * _"Ugh. Fine. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't have pets back in the human world."_
  * The kind of cat that jumps around to high places
  * Parkour™️
  * Will hiss at Lucifer and actively come after him
  * He will tear Lucifer's papers apart and will leave dead things for him as a "gift"
  * Lucifer threatened to kick him out of the dorm, thank god you were there to dial down the tension
  * Stroke his back often, he likes it and he will purr non stop
  * when he wants attention but you're busy, he will sit on your hand to stop you from moving or he will sit on whatever it is that has your attention 



Asmodeus

  * A fancy and pretty cat like the Ragdoll except his fur is pink.
  * Will demand all the accessories and all the best toys
  * His scratching post looks like a castle
  * Will only go out with you if you put him in a carrier
  * Loves head scratches and will meow angrily if you stop
  * the type of cat that walks around in between your legs so you're always cautious because- _"ASMO WHAT IF I STEP ON YOU STOP."_
  * As a cat, he has the prettiest eyes. 
  * He will tap on your phone with his kitty paws and that usually meant he wants you to take a photo of him
  * Back in the human world, you never really understood people who will go have a professional take photos of their cats, now you do
  * the type of cat that will sit on your freshly folded laundry 



Beelzebub 

  * Garfield 2.0
  * Seriously, if Garfield eats lasagnas, Kitty Beel eats hamburgers. 
  * He can eat them because Demon Anatomy™️
  * He's a big cat. You wonder if he's really a cat and not a mini tiger. He kinda looks like a Bengal Cat.
  * He usually just walks right next to you but when he's so hungry he can't walk you carry him in your arms like a baby
  * The sweetest cat ever??? He just purrs and gives you sweet little nudges with his head
  * He will bring you random plants that he finds pretty, sometimes even just straight up dried leaves because _**CRUNCH**_
  * He likes to play with cat toys but he absolutely destroys them because he's a strong boy™️
  * will occasionally leave your side to be with Belphie
  * you set down a bowl of water for him but he prefers to drink STRAIGHT FROM THE TAPS



Belphegor

  * Resembles the California Spangled Cat except he’s dark blue and are you sure he’s a cat and not some kind of leopard?
  * A bitch™
  * He is that cat that will annoy the living shit out of you
  * He's really cute though so that might make up for his shit
  * _"Belphie, don't you dare push that vase off of the-"_ ** _CRASH!_**
  * will scratch the curtains and pillows 
  * If you try and stop him, he will retaliate and meow louder to establish dominance 
  * Will hiss at Lucifer and actively come after him 2.0
  * This time, you weren't there on time so he scratches Lucifer's face and gets kicked out
  * You find him just out the doorstep and he still has this look on his face that says _"LOL, worth it."_
  * he's also the type of cat that crawls all over you until he can find a comfortable place to sit
  * If it fits, I sits 2.0
  * will sleep on every space he finds comfortable including weird places like inside a refrigerator- _"Belphie get out of there!"_ , _***HISS!***_
  * will sit on the sink and will meow angrily at you when you try to remove them
  * _"WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO BRUSH MY TEETH THEN?!"_



Diavolo 

  * A chaotic cat
  * He resembles the Maine Coon breed but with red fur.
  * He's free from every responsibility so he just runs wild
  * _"Barbatos, catch him!"_
  * _"He's too fast!"_
  * He loves to play with the feather teaser because he catches it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
  * Like how?? 
  * He will hiss at other cats trying to get close to you but if the cats hiss back he will run towards you for help
  * Another big cat
  * He's like those cats rich people have
  * Will nudge you with his head if he wants attention 
  * Loves it when you scratch his chin and behind his ears
  * You turn your back from him for only a second, the next thing you know he's running around with a trail of toilet paper in his wake
  * He's a big cat but he will squeeze himself in the most uncomfortable spaces like in between couch cushions 



Barbatos 

  * another chill cat ™️
  * Resembles the Egyptian Mau.
  * he likes to hang around Diavolo and Lucifer
  * he will curl his tail around your neck in an attempt to be protective 
  * he's also the type of cat that brings you random things he found
  * _"thank you Barbatos but what the fuck is that?"_
  * loves to hang around in the kitchen
  * He uses his scratch post properly thank you
  * His eyes will go wide when he's in attack mode because other cats were bothering him
  * Will not hesitate to push off other cats from high places, it's his territory, fuck off
  * since he's a cat, no one is doing the cleaning and it frustrates him so he will **MEOW AT YOU TIL YOU CLEAN UP THE MESS**
  * He's also a sensitive kind of cat. The kind of cat that can tell whether someone is dangerous or not. 



Simeon

  * Another beautiful cat but a very fluffy cat like the British Shorthair.
  * He's very affectionate 
  * He will purr softly at you all the time
  * He loves to be carried by you and also meows in satisfaction when you stroke his fur
  * A victim of the "cucumber prank" but it was an accident 
  * You actually feel really bad but you and Barbatos were making salad from the human world and he just walked in
  * He will chase some mice away because he could tell that they were bothering you
  * He actually understands you on a personal level, he will comfort and distract you when he senses that you're having a hard time
  * Will put his soft paws on your cheeks! 
  * Do the laser pointer trick with him and he will be so into it he will crash into walls. 
  * the type of cat that adopts random kittens 



Luke 

  * THE KITTEN™️
  * You actually laugh at how tiny and adorable he is
  * He will hiss and meow angrily at you but NOPE IT'S STILL CUTE- _"No, wait, Luke, I'm kidding, please come back."_
  * A Munchkin!
  * Will. Hiss. At. The. Brothers. 
  * Will fuck around with Mammon's things just because 
  * _"WHY YOU LITTLE!!"_
  * _"MAMMON! lift a finger against him and you're dead!"_
  * _"But MC-!"_
  * Luke will have a smug look on his face because you took his side
  * Loves to be pet, scratch behind his ears and he will purr loudly 
  * But then he'll be shy and will dart underneath the bed/couch/table
  * He's so tiny, you can fit him in your hand
  * Don't put him on your head! He's shaking like a leaf when you tried it
  * A victim of the laser pointer trick and visibly gets frustrated when he can't catch it



Solomon

  * Looks like a Scottish Fold.
  * A bitch™️ 2.0
  * The type of cat that shadows you 24/7
  * _"STOP MEOWING AT ME I'M IN THE BATHROOM YOU HEATHEN."_
  * you were doing your homework and you leave to get a snack, when you come back he's already fast asleep on your notes now you can't work
  * If Belphie and Satan both bring Lucifer dead things as gifts and Barbatos brings you random weird shit, Solomon will bring you live animals he's caught and- _"GET THAT RAT OUT OF HERE OH GOD MAMMON HELP!"_
  * will wake you up in the middle of the night for kicks
  * _"WHAT'S IN YOUR MOUTH?? SOLOMON, WHAT IS IN YOUR M- SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!"_
  * He topples all the vases and will break every glass he can get his eyes on
  * he will test your patience so be ready
  * The type of cat that will not be afraid to pick fights with other cats you had to physically remove him from one of Satan's pets



**Author's Note:**

> prompts are open!


End file.
